Women often associate the word submission with subtraction. Why do I say this? We often think the moment we submit to someone we don’t have a say anymore. It’s as if we are taken away from the context of marriage and we just have to do what our spouse says. Society has painted submission as master and slave picture whilst this is very far from the truth. In this article, I will explain (from a single woman’s perspective) what submission means to me and how a certain standpoint can help you later on if you get married.

Two individual people come together as one in marriage. Before they became one, they were both under their parents’ authority, whether they liked it or not. Parents’ guide and train us, just as Proverbs 22:6 instructs them to do: ”Start children off on the way they should go.” Parents are under God’s authority, therefore, we are to submit to them. However, this changes when we get married. For us women, for example, after marriage, we are no longer submitted to our parents but to our husband.

 Ephesians 5:31 states: ”For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” The word submission in the worldly context means ”the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.” In other words, you are accepting that there is a head above you. I personally believe submission means you are submitting under a mission. It is very important as a woman to know the mission of your husband in order for you to submit under it. At work, you submit to your boss because you know where the company wants to go and you are willing to be part of growth. When in courtship certain characteristics need to be evaluated and questioned in order to see whether you are the right person for this mission. A mission is seen as a task that is given which you ought to fulfil. Therefore, you can’t follow any man blindly and complain when it comes to marriage. You ought to question the person you are with and see his long term and short term goals and whether these align with your future plans.

A man that is submitted to God is easy to submit to. Before marriage, women often lose sight of why God brought this man into their lives. There is always a mission to accomplish and a goal to reach with your spouse. God never puts two people together just for them to live life. There are certain tasks, goals and assignments He wants the two of you to adhere to. In the garden of Eden, God made man first and he made the woman to help him with his God-given assignment. God knew that Eve was the right woman for him as she saw the vision and understood the mission. 

As a woman, it will be easier for you to submit to someone if you know where he is going. But what do you do when you know your husband is wrong… and you are right? You may not always agree with your husband, however, if God is in the centre I believe you will both come to an agreement regarding a particular situation. Don’t start unnecessary arguments with your husband, rather ask God to confirm to you what he has shown him. Also, allow everyone to make their own mistakes. Your husband is not perfect neither are you, so even if he makes the wrong decision, don’t shove it in his face. Quietly decide to make that U-turn with him and focus on the journey ahead. Don’t be deceived, as some men may look like they have a vision but they don’t. Also, you may have asked God for a man that has some particular characteristics, yet his mission does not seem to align with yours. I suggest you go back to your prayer closet and ask God whether He indeed sent this person. Because you will have conflict in the marriage, as you may not agree with certain decisions. You might start retaliating and you will not be at ease in the marriage.

As a Christian woman I always encourage you to walk in power and authority however, when it comes to the home; know your role. I  always say you may be a  boss in the corporate world but when it comes to your home know who is in charge. God has given you a husband who is submitted to Him so when you submit to your husband you are in essence submitting to God. All you as a woman need to do is follow his vision and submit under that mission without any restriction.